Adding a new member to your family is one of life’s biggest joys. The excitement of caring for another and delighting in baby snuggles can be shadowed by the physical and emotional stresses that happen after birth. There are many new emotions to sort through during this exciting new phase of life. Knowing what stress is, where it can come from, how it is triggered, and ways to handle it can be helpful in the early days of parenthood to keep stress at a minimum.
What is Stress?
Stress is a physical and emotional reaction that people experience as they encounter changes in life. It can be physical, mental, or emotional. Stress is a normal feeling, and the response can be appropriate and short-term; however, long-term stress may contribute to or worsen a range of other health problems.
The Pressures of Becoming a New Parent
Feelings of sadness, anxiety, and mood swings are the most common conditions that contribute to increased levels of stress, affecting up to 80% of new mothers. These feelings can vary from hour to hour and day to day. Hormone fluctuations, like the reduction of progesterone or estrogen levels returning to normal levels after childbirth, can also trigger a change in emotions. This usually happens within 10 days of postpartum.
Physical and Emotional Challenges of Recovery
Recovering from childbirth, especially after a c-section or episiotomy repair, can make caring for a newborn physically demanding. Lifting restrictions and the need for rest can complicate infant care, adding to a mother’s stress. Your doctor or nurse will provide guidance to help you navigate these temporary limitations.
For parents with a baby in the NICU, the experience can bring added emotional strain. NICU nurses are not only there to care for the baby but also to support parents, teaching coping strategies and care techniques for handling a medically fragile newborn.
Other stressors that affect new parents:
- Poor sleep
- Worries about baby’s health including stressors of breastfeeding
- Insecurities of post-pregnancy body and sexuality
- Disappointment about the quality or lack of support from one’s partner
- Guilt over not bonding with baby
- Financial worries
- Fears of returning to work
- Other children
- Trying to go back to your typical schedule
Learn everything you need to know about perinatal mental health in this blog post.
How to Handle Postpartum Stressors
Accept Support
In general, people experience great well-being and less health complications when the individuals around them are helpful and responsive. Life with a newborn can be a time of immense transition for both parents as they figure out their new roles and identities. Do not minimize your feelings or your experiences. Talk to your partner honestly and set a plan to work as a team; open communication is the key element to a balanced postpartum experience. Reach out to reliable people out of your inner circle for assistance like friends, neighbors, coworkers, or church members.
Prioritize Sleep
Sleep when baby sleeps. This may not be new advice to parents but is harder to follow than hear. Short intervals are less restorative than sleeping in longer sessions. If baby is not one to sleep a couple of hours at a time, find someone who can care for your little one so that you can get the quality sleep that you need. Do not feel guilty if you avoid a conversation to catch up on life with a visitor, friendly chit-chat can happen later.
If you’re struggling with persistent stress or sleep difficulties, read our guide on postpartum insomnia to learn helpful coping strategies.
Feel Confident in Feeding Choices
Breastfeeding requires time, dedication, and patience. Factors like milk supply, latching, medications, and work schedules can all impact the experience. If you're facing challenges, don't hesitate to seek support from a lactation specialist, obstetrician, or pediatrician. And remember—it's okay if breastfeeding doesn’t go as planned. The most important thing is making the best choice for you, your baby, and your lifestyle. No matter what, you’re doing what’s best—and that makes you a great mom.
Check out these 10 Tips for Breastfeeding Success.
Have a Practical Outlook on Your Postpartum Body
New mothers and their partners should understand that a woman’s body may not return to its exact pre-baby weight, shape, or strength. Factors such as endurance, interest, and lack of sleep will affect exercise programs or sexual activity.
While there are many physical and mental benefits to resuming your past activities, you may find that your exercise routine and goals have changed after baby including different forms of exercise. Find what feels right and go with it.
Let Go of Household Chores
Keeping a clean and orderly home does not have to be a priority. Clean laundry, dishes, and fresh groceries are necessary. After that, let the small stuff go until you have more time and energy to devote to these tasks. Don’t be afraid to ask for help. Sharing these responsibilities with your partner can help alleviate some of your stress.
Establish a Routine for Bonding
If you don’t feel an immediate connection with your baby, know that this is normal. Bonding takes time and develops through everyday interactions. Skin-to-skin contact, talking, singing, and making eye contact with your baby are great ways to foster a strong connection. If your baby is in the NICU, ask hospital staff for guidance on safe bonding techniques.
Plan Finances and Work Leave Before Birth
Make sure your health insurance is up-to-date and baby has been added to your plan. Organizing this information should be done before baby is born. The human resource department or case manager at your place of employment can help navigate how to cover a baby under your health insurance plan.
Diapers, food, and everyday baby gear are all extra expenses you never had before pregnancy. Research the cost of these added items and create a postpartum budget and what it will take to cover the costs.
If you are planning to return to work after baby, research care providers while you are pregnant. Use our resource “What to Look For in a Newborn Care Provider” for guidance. This list of newborn care providers is also a great place to start!
Balance Attention Between Multiple Children
Maintaining routines can help older siblings adjust to the new baby. Consider creating a “feeding basket” with small toys to entertain older children while you nurse or bottle-feed. Including siblings in baby-related tasks—like handing you diapers or helping with laundry—can also foster connection and reduce feelings of jealousy.
If you have help, leave baby with your partner or caregiver, and make errand time special for older siblings. Play their favorite song in the car and turn grocery shopping into a treasure hunt game. Recognize that any devoted time to older children is quality time.
Discover more about the fourth trimester and postpartum wellness.
Let Go of Social Pressures
If you had an active social life before baby, you might feel pressure to resume it quickly. Give yourself permission to say no to events and focus on your well-being. When you’re ready to reconnect, prioritize activities that align with your new lifestyle.
Moreland OB-GYN Is Here to Help
Your journey through motherhood is one you shouldn’t navigate alone. Recognizing your stressors and asking for support is essential for your well-being. Moreland OB-GYN is here to provide expert care and guidance through every stage of your postpartum journey.
If stress levels surpass your level of coping and daily tasks become too hard to complete, please don’t hesitate to call us for help. We are here to provide the help, support and resources you need. Contact us today.
Looking for more postpartum and mental wellness tips and resources? Check out the additional resources below.
