Coping With Miscarriage

Miscarriages — the sudden loss of pregnancy within the first 20 weeks — are very common, with about 10% to 20% of all known pregnancies ending in miscarriage. 

Despite being common, many people may not fully understand the physical and emotional toll of a miscarriage. If you have experienced a miscarriage, it’s important to allow yourself the time you may need to heal, both physically and emotionally.

In this blog, we discuss what to physically expect after a miscarriage, what the grieving process may look like, how to cope if you find yourself experiencing miscarriage grief, and when to reach out to your Moreland OB-GYN provider for extra support.

Physically Recovering From a Miscarriage

It may take several weeks to a month or more for your body to recover after a miscarriage. You can expect to have some cramping pain and bleeding during this time, similar to a period, which should gradually get lighter and stop within two weeks. 

Pregnancy hormones may still be in your blood for about one to two months. Although signs and symptoms of pregnancy, breast tenderness, and nausea may fade within a few days. Most women will get their period again after four to six weeks.

You should call your Moreland OB-GYN provider if you experience any of the following post- miscarriage symptoms:

• Persistent severe cramping
• Cramping that lasts longer than two weeks
• High fever (temperature over 101 degrees) and chills 
• Heavy bleeding (soaking more than two maxi pads per hour for two or more consecutive hours)
• Any bleeding that lasts more than two weeks
• Foul-smelling discharge

Take a look here to learn more about the different types of miscarriages, how miscarriage is diagnosed, and the treatments for miscarriage.

Common Emotional Responses After a Miscarriage

Every person copes with miscarriage in their own way, but it’s not unusual to experience an overwhelming feeling of anger or sadness along with: 

• Lack of appetite 
• Exhaustion and fatigue 
• Shock 
• Guilt 
• Anxiety and depression 
• Sleep disturbances and problems

Although these symptoms are common, if you feel like these symptoms are affecting your daily life, you should call our office to evaluate. Other feelings and experiences you may have while coping with miscarriage include: 

• Blaming yourself — Many women ask themselves what they could have done differently to prevent a miscarriage. It’s important to remember a miscarriage is not your fault. Most miscarriages are caused by a genetic abnormality that keeps the fetus from developing normally. Everyday activities, such as exercising, working, and having sex, generally don’t cause miscarriages.
• Changing hormones —  While miscarriage can be an extremely emotional experience, it's important to remember that your hormones will shift dramatically during this time, which can exacerbate and contribute to extreme feelings of grief, numbness and sadness.
• Irritability and easily triggered — You may find it difficult to be around babies or to hear pregnancy announcements. Simply hearing the name you planned for your child can be emotionally triggering as well. It’s important to give yourself the time and space you need if you are finding certain situations challenging. 
• Stages of loss and grief — As with the loss of any loved one, you may go through the five stages of grief. From shock to anger to acceptance, you may experience all of these emotions in a single day or notice that your emotions change from day to day. Not all pregnancies are planned, and this can lead to conflicting and changing emotions about the pregnancy and loss. It is important to know that emotions cannot cause a miscarriage.
• You may grieve differently than your partner —  Lack of communication is a common issue among couples who have suffered a miscarriage. Communicating with your partner and asking them to be open and honest about their feelings can be extremely helpful.

Miscarriage grief is often dismissed by society; women and their partners are often expected to simply move on with their lives. Thankfully, there has been a shift in this sentiment in recent years.

More women are sharing their miscarriage stories, raising awareness about the fact that grief after a miscarriage is normal, and a woman who has suffered from a miscarriage needs care and support.

How to Cope After a Miscarriage

There is no right or wrong way to grieve a miscarriage, and there is no set timeline to follow. Some women may feel better after a few days or weeks, while others may experience miscarriage grief for several months or longer.

The following are ways you can begin your coping journey after you’ve experienced a miscarriage. 

• Understand and recognize your feelings are normal — A miscarriage can be a very heavy and difficult experience. It’s important to remember your feelings are completely normal, even if you were pregnant only for a short time. 
• Allow yourself to grieve your loss — Suppressing your feelings instead of working through them will only prolong the grieving process. Giving yourself the time you need to grieve your loss can help you cope.
• Memorialize your loss — Some people find comfort in memorializing their loss. Depending on how far along you were in your pregnancy, a burial may be possible. Lighting a candle, creating a scrapbook, planting a tree, or hosting a small gathering with loved ones are all ways to memorialize your loss.
• Share your experience — Simply talking about your experience with a supportive person can significantly help relieve some of the emotional pain you may be experiencing. 
• If you are in a relationship, find ways of coping together — Break the silence. Share your feelings and verbally express how your partner can support you during this difficult time. In return, ask your partner how you can support them. 

When to Seek Help While Coping With Miscarriage

Talking with loved ones can be of great comfort when coping with miscarriage — but what if you find yourself needing extra support? 

If your miscarriage grief has made it difficult for you to function, a therapist can help guide and support you through this traumatic experience. Joining a virtual or in-person support group can also connect you with individuals who have gone through a similar experience.

No matter what, it’s important to know you do not have to go through this experience alone, and there is no shame in reaching out for help. 

If you are experiencing mental health concerns or are having difficulty processing your loss, you should not hesitate to call your OB-GYN doctor as soon as possible.

Trying to Conceive After a Miscarriage

In most cases, it’s safe to start trying to conceive after one normal menstrual cycle post-miscarriage or after your HCG has trended to negative, although you may find you are not emotionally ready. Talking to your Moreland OB-GYN doctor about what you are feeling physically and emotionally can help you work as a team in deciding when is a good time to start trying to conceive again. 

It’s important to know that experiencing a miscarriage does not mean you have fertility issues, and most women go on to have healthy pregnancies. 

Learn more about what causes pregnancy loss and how Moreland OB-GYN can help. 

A miscarriage can be an emotional experience, and you are not overreacting if you're emotionally struggling. It's important to be gentle with yourself and allow yourself to feel and process this experience so you can cope and adequately heal from your loss. 

If you have had a miscarriage, know that you do not have to go through this alone. Moreland OB-GYN is your trusted healthcare provider, and we are here to walk with you through this journey. If you are struggling after experiencing a miscarriage, we hope you'll contact us today.